Private Show

Published 4 March, 2012 by itsaheartache

There’s so much I keep to myself.  Like, a lot.

I’ve lost faith in a lot of people.  People who used to be very close, I still love them and I keep them at arm’s length.  It’s hard.  I know that with growth comes change.  With change comes growth.  They compliment each other.  Sometimes it’s not fun, though.

It’s sad how much more willing people are to tear others down… And when people are doing well, they can’t just be happy for them.  It’s easier to say what a loser someone is, or what a piece of crap they used to be, than to say “you know, she really pulled through and she has really made something for herself.”  What we hear is “Yeah, she thinks she has everyone fooled, but remember, 12 years ago when she did ____.”  I thought the point of growing up and the point of changing was to leave those things behind?  That’s why it’s kind of easy to forget our sins – There’s always someone there to throw them back in our face.

Perhaps keeping others at bay is a means of self preservation.  While I gain momentum in my goal to be a public speaker, to help others to think better of themselves and to help them find the strength to be confident – It helps to keep myself strong too.  I have to practice what I preach, and it is very hard to do when it feels like sometimes the world roots against me.  

Always reminders, subtle jabs at the mistakes I have made.  

We are all human.  We all have a past, and believe it or not we all have a future.  Our future is up to us, not the busybodies who have nothing better to do than expose our faults.  We can either buy into the gossip and let them beat us, or we can hold our heads high and swear to do better next time.

If you find yourself contributing to the demise of someone else, take a step back, and maybe close your own curtains, lest we all see your skeletons dancing around.  


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