Published 4 January, 2011 by itsaheartache

Let’s say you are in an unhappy marriage.

Let’s say your husband accuses you constantly of cheating, even though you have given him no reason to think otherwise.

Let’s say that said husband is actually the one who has been unfaithful on more than one instance, and has asked you to be intimate with his friends while he watches.

Let’s say you have gone into debt funding said husband’s expenses because he is paying off two ex-wives.

Let’s say you are constantly being scrutinized for each little thing.  The house isn’t clean enough.  Dinner wasn’t done quickly enough.  You were a few minutes late coming home from work (Obviously you are cheating)

I could go on because there is SO much more… but what would you do?

This is a true scenario, and I am stuck in the middle because said woman and said man are friends of mine and I hear both sides of the stories.  I don’t know what to tell either of them, only that everyone has a right to be happy and if they aren’t happy then they need to do what they have to do to get there.

I have never understood people who purposely stay in a shitty situation and complain about it, only to do nothing about it.  It’s like they like the drama so much they honestly can’t live without it.  They need the attention from others “oh poor you.  tell me more.” 

Far be it for me to complain about people in shitty situations because I think I am a professional at shitty situations – BUT – I think what sets me apart is that I have been  able to remove those from my life.  I have purposely weeded people out of my life because of their toxic nature and negative impact on my life.  I don’t think this classifies me as an elitist, but sometimes I wonder.

If you are too lazy to change your life, then I have no sympathy for you when you are in a tough place.  If your husband is cheating on you and you have nothing better to do than to complain about it and keep taking him back, then maybe you deserve each other. 

So how do you tell someone this when you care about them?  I know what it’s like to love someone even though they are a dick.  (Hello, Don?)  I know what it’s like to know that “something” is going on, and feel powerless to do anything about it.  Is it self esteem related?  I don’t know for sure, because I still don’t have the best self esteem even now. 

I don’t feel like I am qualified to be helping either of them because I am a hopeless bitter bitch about some things.  Shit, I can’t even go on a dating site without being skeptical.  Of course, I can’t seem to have a date with someone and have them call back, so that might be the reason why.  And I’m a damn catch.  LOL 

Or not, who the hell knows?


3 comments on “So…

  • I would tell them both together that you think that they need to go to counselling or need to get rid of each other. I’d also tell them to stop complaining about each other to you because you’re tired of hearing about two willing participants in the fucked up marriage.


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