Dear Mom –
Watching you struggle to raise 3 kids on your own motivated me to be the person I am today. No, you didn’t struggle with raising them; you struggled with actually being there. One of us was sent away to live with another family at 12 years old; one of us moved away with our dad at 14; and then there’s me. I was all but forced to shack up with my boyfriend at the ripe old age of 16. I’m sure it was difficult for you, dealing with all that responsibility.
Witnessing your lack of patience and your overall selfishness struck a chord in me, made me see what I didn’t want to be. And while I have my days, I can happily say that my kids know I love them and they are not fearful of mood swings (This open to negotiation, but the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree now does it?). They are content, loved, and will never be shunned for any reason at any age.
I often wonder about the thought processes you had when you made your life’s decisions. You always said being a parent was the most important and most rewarding job you had… I wonder what kind of standards you set for your reward system?
Anyway, it’s a shame you’re not around to see what I’ve accomplished and what my children are doing with their young lives. I’m sure you’d be proud, if you could stand to be around us for more than a few minutes.
Well, since I haven’t even so much as been on a date in a year; suffice it to say I do not have either a boyfriend or a crush. So I will make up who I would be writing this to – Bradley Cooper. (I kid – Hey, does anyone have his number?)
Last night was unbelievable. When should I tell them about us?
Dear Jen –
I always say (even though I don’t want to believe it all the time that things happen for a reason; and that people come into and out of our lives for a reason.
I think if there is a god, he blessed me when he brought you to me. In the darkest hours of my life, there you were. You have been everything I needed at all the right times, and for that I am so thankful.
I have never had to apologize for being who I am. You have accepted me and my flaws (Oh, so many of them). You have been patient when I was not. You have been my rock. My light. My safety net. My buffer. My conscience.
I have become a better person – with your help – whether you know it or not. I have become less angry. I am less bitter.
You do not give yourself enough credit for being so incredible. You balance work, school, kids, a marriage, and a needy friend – and you make it look effortless. A smile and “What can I do to help?” when someone asks you for more. You deserve the world – And more.
THANK YOU for saving my life. I love you.
That’s all I’ve got today, kids. More soon.