You Need Your @$$ Beat

Published 24 February, 2009 by itsaheartache

I used to do this on my other blog, and haven’t done one in a long, long time.  I think it’s time for some venting.  

You need your @$$ beat if you go into a movie theater and sit DIRECTLY behind me, when I am the only other person in the theater.  Really?!?!  Right behind me is the ONLY available spot?  Gee thanks, now I get to listen to you and your date talk about stupid crap that no one cares about.  And for the love of Pete; knock it off with the candy wrappers!!!! Just dump the candy into the popcorn bucket like the rest of us do.  No, I’m not moving.  I was here first!! Jerk.

You need your @$$ beat if you tailgate on the highway in white out conditions.  

You need your @$$ beat if you sit on the bikes at the gym and do nothing but ogle the women.  I have named the boy in a red t-shirt from the Y last night “Pervert Armstrong” because that’s all he does.  He sits on the bike, pedals slowly, doesn’t even break a sweat… and watches the women.  CREEPY.

You need your @$$ beat if you don’t wipe the machines down after using them.  Sorry, I don’t to sit in your crotch sweat, nasty person.  It’s called bleach and towels, and they are right there in the front next to the outdated Glamour magazines.  Use them.

You need your @$$ beat if you use or take the last of anything and you don’t tell the person responsible for purchasing them that they are gone.  

You need your @$$ beat if you are mean to my brother or make disparaging remarks to/about him.  He would give the shirt off his back to almost anyone and everyone should be lucky enough to have someone like him in their lives.  No one ever needs to make him feel bad or make him sad EVER.  

You need your @$$ beat if you weigh 5 lbs. 6 oz. and are STILL complaining that you are fat.  Get over yourself. You are not that important and no one cares if you think your thighs are too jiggly.  Quit being an attention hog.  Go ahead and job shadow Skeletor all you want, looks like you will never be happy so line up for your @$$ beating or get a clue.

You need your @$$ beat if you let your kids run around like hooligans at the mall – Or anywhere, for that matter.  I had almost forgotten why I hate the mall; then I went this weekend.  Hokey Pete.  I have never seen so many unsupervised pre-teens and young kids.  I know the sale at Younkers is important, but WATCH YOUR KIDS!!!!!!!!!!

You need your @$$ beat if you constantly go out of your way to make others feel bad.  I don’t see how anyone can be that miserable that they make a conscious effort to cut everyone else down and make lame comments.  Get a life.

You need your @$$ beat if you just don’t get it.

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One comment on “You Need Your @$$ Beat

  • “Go ahead and job shadow Skeletor all you want, looks like you will never be happy so line up for your @$$ beating or get a clue.”

    I agree with the rest of the list, this one just had me laughing…
    oh, thank you for that. Lordy.

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