No matter what you do, someone will have a problem with it. The sooner everyone realizes this, the better we all will be. The sooner we can fix it, the better everyone will be.
Success brings out the worst in some people. Whether the success is theirs, or if they feel it should have been theirs, it’s not natural for some people to feel natural happiness when others succeed. For those of us who have met and defeated hurdles in our lives, our success brings out the worst by causing us to be prideful and causing us to toot a little TOO hard on our own horns.
The old adage is true “Stand up and be heard”… But shouldn’t we sit down sometimes? Why is our first instinct sometimes to want to push those down who have the courage to stand up?
Why do we need to be so competitive and mean about being good at something or having persevered over something? I don’t think it’s a bad thing to get upset when someone is boasting… But I also don’t necessarily agree that we should be meek about everything either.
You slayed that dragon, hooray!! Joe Schmo in the corner doesn’t need to talk shit though… “Oh that dragon had a bad knee, of course you slayed it”. Would it kill Joe to be supportive? Of course it would.
You could be the most perfect, revolutionary, driven, focused, kind, person in the world… and someone would be mad about the way you fold your socks.
You could be a diplomat, a charity worker, someone who donates hours of time and money to those less fortunate, and someone would be mad that you are donating to a cause they do not support. Too bad that you are helping others, if your hard work is not recognized.
Why can’t we just be happy? Why be pissed that someone got a hole in one? Do you golf? No? Well then quit it. Be happy, buy the guy a beer. Listen to the same story over and over again, because that’s what supportive people do.
Life is so short, why should we waste it tearing each other down?
Is it jealousy? I used to constantly make sideways comments about my former employer’s wife. She is stick thin, a triathlete, drop dead gorgeous, a philanthropist, and has 2 businesses. PLUS she raises 3 depressingly cute children. I made comments about her name. I made comments about her achievements and how they were “lame” and “Of course she can do all that she probably has a nanny”. When I sit and think about it, I am jealous of her accomplishments and her ability to hold everything down. Granted she has a husband, but he travels for months out of the year. She does NOT have a nanny, much to the dismay of my big flapping mouth. She is essentially alone. And she rocks.
I’d like to think we aren’t all that mean. I’d like to have more faith in human kind; more faith in myself. It is hard, though, when the first thing people assume is that someone either cheated to get where they are, or they come across with some rude comments. “Oh we all know how SHE got her job”… No, we really don’t. Maybe deep down, we wish WE could get a job like that but we haven’t put forth the effort to get there. And maybe she DID get her job that way, but it is not our business LOL
So what now? How do we fix what is broken? It has to be an individual effort… Perhaps if we work on improving ourselves, others will see our efforts and they will want to do the same for themselves. And perhaps they won’t want to do it just for competition’s sake… Maybe they will seriously want to change themselves to be a warmer and kinder person. Good news doesn’t have to be bad. In this day and age, we could use all the good news we can get.
Be nice. And when you shake your co worker’s hand and congratulate them on their promotion – MEAN IT.