All posts for the month February, 2009

You Need Your @$$ Beat

Published 24 February, 2009 by itsaheartache

I used to do this on my other blog, and haven’t done one in a long, long time.  I think it’s time for some venting.  

You need your @$$ beat if you go into a movie theater and sit DIRECTLY behind me, when I am the only other person in the theater.  Really?!?!  Right behind me is the ONLY available spot?  Gee thanks, now I get to listen to you and your date talk about stupid crap that no one cares about.  And for the love of Pete; knock it off with the candy wrappers!!!! Just dump the candy into the popcorn bucket like the rest of us do.  No, I’m not moving.  I was here first!! Jerk.

You need your @$$ beat if you tailgate on the highway in white out conditions.  

You need your @$$ beat if you sit on the bikes at the gym and do nothing but ogle the women.  I have named the boy in a red t-shirt from the Y last night “Pervert Armstrong” because that’s all he does.  He sits on the bike, pedals slowly, doesn’t even break a sweat… and watches the women.  CREEPY.

You need your @$$ beat if you don’t wipe the machines down after using them.  Sorry, I don’t to sit in your crotch sweat, nasty person.  It’s called bleach and towels, and they are right there in the front next to the outdated Glamour magazines.  Use them.

You need your @$$ beat if you use or take the last of anything and you don’t tell the person responsible for purchasing them that they are gone.  

You need your @$$ beat if you are mean to my brother or make disparaging remarks to/about him.  He would give the shirt off his back to almost anyone and everyone should be lucky enough to have someone like him in their lives.  No one ever needs to make him feel bad or make him sad EVER.  

You need your @$$ beat if you weigh 5 lbs. 6 oz. and are STILL complaining that you are fat.  Get over yourself. You are not that important and no one cares if you think your thighs are too jiggly.  Quit being an attention hog.  Go ahead and job shadow Skeletor all you want, looks like you will never be happy so line up for your @$$ beating or get a clue.

You need your @$$ beat if you let your kids run around like hooligans at the mall – Or anywhere, for that matter.  I had almost forgotten why I hate the mall; then I went this weekend.  Hokey Pete.  I have never seen so many unsupervised pre-teens and young kids.  I know the sale at Younkers is important, but WATCH YOUR KIDS!!!!!!!!!!

You need your @$$ beat if you constantly go out of your way to make others feel bad.  I don’t see how anyone can be that miserable that they make a conscious effort to cut everyone else down and make lame comments.  Get a life.

You need your @$$ beat if you just don’t get it.


Sour Grapes

Published 20 February, 2009 by itsaheartache

No matter what you do, someone will have a problem with it.  The sooner everyone realizes this, the better we all will be.  The sooner we can fix it, the better everyone will be.

Success brings out the worst in some people.  Whether the success is theirs, or if they feel it should have been theirs, it’s not natural for some people to feel natural happiness when others succeed.  For those of us who have met and defeated hurdles in our lives, our success brings out the worst by causing us to be prideful and causing us to toot a little TOO hard on our own horns.

The old adage is true “Stand up and be heard”… But shouldn’t we sit down sometimes?  Why is our first instinct sometimes to want to push those down who have the courage to stand up?

Why do we need to be so competitive and mean about being good at something or having persevered over something?  I don’t think it’s a bad thing to get upset when someone is boasting… But I also don’t necessarily agree that we should be meek about everything either.

You slayed that dragon, hooray!!  Joe Schmo in the corner doesn’t need to talk shit though… “Oh that dragon had a bad knee, of course you slayed it”.  Would it kill Joe to be supportive?  Of course it would.

You could be the most perfect, revolutionary, driven, focused, kind, person in the world… and someone would be mad about the way you fold your socks.

You could be a diplomat, a charity worker, someone who donates hours of time and money to those less fortunate, and someone would be mad that you are donating to a cause they do not support.  Too bad that you are helping others, if your hard work is not recognized.

Why can’t we just be happy?  Why be pissed that someone got a hole in one?  Do you golf?  No?  Well then quit it.  Be happy, buy the guy a beer.  Listen to the same story over and over again, because that’s what supportive people do.

Life is so short, why should we waste it tearing each other down?  

Is it jealousy?  I used to constantly make sideways comments about my former employer’s wife.  She is stick thin, a triathlete, drop dead gorgeous, a philanthropist, and has 2 businesses.  PLUS she raises 3 depressingly cute children.  I made comments about her name.  I made comments about her achievements and how they were “lame” and “Of course she can do all that she probably has a nanny”.  When I sit and think about it, I am jealous of her accomplishments and her ability to hold everything down.  Granted she has a husband, but he travels for months out of the year.  She does NOT have a nanny, much to the dismay of my big flapping mouth.  She is essentially alone.  And she rocks.  

I’d like to think we aren’t all that mean.  I’d like to have more faith in human kind; more faith in myself.  It is hard, though, when the first thing people assume is that someone either cheated to get where they are, or they come across with some rude comments.  “Oh we all know how SHE got her job”… No, we really don’t.  Maybe deep down, we wish WE could get a job like that but we haven’t put forth the effort to get there.  And maybe she DID get her job that way, but it is not our business LOL

So what now?  How do we fix what is broken?  It has to be an individual effort… Perhaps if we work on improving ourselves, others will see our efforts and they will want to do the same for themselves.  And perhaps they won’t want to do it just for competition’s sake… Maybe they will seriously want to change themselves to be a warmer and kinder person.  Good news doesn’t have to be bad.  In this day and age, we could use all the good news we can get.  

Be nice.  And when you shake your co worker’s hand and congratulate them on their promotion – MEAN IT.

What I Like About Sundays

Published 15 February, 2009 by itsaheartache

It’s slightly past 9 a.m. on a sunny Sunday morning.  What the heck am I doing up? 

Seriously though, I feel good about today.  I’m going wedding shopping with Jen and maybe we’ll go see the Shopaholic movie.  It might hit a little too close to home though, LOL. 

My brother and his family went to church this morning, they are so funny all getting around and how they function together.  They are a good team.   My kids are great too though. 

Gross I just saw a commercial for this site called Online Booty Call dot com.  GROSS.  I guess though it takes the mystery out of online dating, huh?  I don’t think I could join a site like that, but far be it for me to judge those who are on it.  Part of me is curious and wants to see if it is a real site, but then I would be worried that Brother or Sis-In-Law would see it in the internet history and think it was the other one.  How awkward would THAT conversation be?  The shittiest part of online dating is that most of the dudes on there are looking for exactly that; a piece of ass.  It’s lame, especially for those of us who are on there for the right reasons.  But I digress.

Jen and I have been looking up Vegas trips; they are really cheap right now!!!  It gives me more motivation to save money so we can move and I can go this year.  I worry about that coming off as selfish, wanting to go on the trip this year.  It’s the only thing I do every year though.  Now that my taxes are here I have begun paying off my debt (almost t here!!) and that means I can begin saving.  I have to find a way to remind myself to bring left overs for lunch.  I always forget, and then end up spending money in the cafeteria.  Granted it is nice food there but 6 bucks a day adds up pretty quickly.  Add to that the energy drinks & muffins every morning… It’s kind of stupid how much money I waste. 

I don’t think Rich Vos is as funny as he thinks he is.

I’m going to go make a cake.  Yum.

Congregation, Please Be Seated…

Published 9 February, 2009 by itsaheartache

Thank the heavens I finally found my pink Domokun.  I found a big posable one as well, which delights me.  I have a Domokun family now; living on my desk at work.  I have the big posable Domokun, a Dracula Domokun, and 2 small ones (1 brown and 1 pink).  Oh, and a Domokun calendar.  I can’t get enough of them!!

I went to a home party this weekend and I ordered some candle holders for my new place.  I don’t have a new place to put them, but I am hoping they serve as motivation to hurry up and get my stuff together.  They’re really cute!!

So the latest gossip is that Chris Brown punched Rihanna in the face backstage at the Grammy’s.  UGH.  I’m not even going to get started, but you should all know how I feel about woman beaters.  

I have a bully at work; that’s all I can say here.  Most days I feel like I have a bulls eye on my back.  

Dinner last night was really yummy – I made chopped steak and twice-baked potatoes.  I also sautéed onions and mushrooms to put on top of the chopped steaks.  Yum-MO.

The weather this weekend was gorgeous.  It really has me wanting spring to arrive.  While I do love winter, and I love snow; I’m over the cold.  There is something about those first few days where the temperature gets above freezing… the air smells so fresh.  I’m ready to do some yard work and start jogging.

I love Christian Bale; profanity-laden rants and all.  In fact, since the audio of his on-set freak out has emerged, I love him even more.  

The singer from Tantric has a really annoying voice sometimes.  He sounds like he has a mouth full of marbles.  Listen to “Breakdown” and tell me he doesn’t.

OMG I really love my Domokuns.  I keep looking over at them and squeaking.  

I sent a check to my old landlord and he sent me a semi-rude email saying he did not get it.  Further he “doesn’t trust” the mail now and wants me to drive the 40 minutes back to my old place and meet him so that I can give him the rest of the money I owe him.  I’m quite irritated by this.  Yes, checks get lost in the mail, but the tone of his email was accusatory, like I had not sent it or like I misled him in some way.  I don’t like that.  If I say I’m going to do something, I do everything I can to make sure it is followed through with.  So I’m kind of on the fence on what I should do.  I really can’t make it over there before Saturday, and also, I shouldn’t have to drive over there.  I could save my gas money and just send it certified.  

I won an eBay auction last week but have not received any shipment notification yet… should I be worried?  I’m going to be really upset if the guy rips me off; the clothes I won are really cute!!!

We have VIP’s in town tomorrow and I have the biggest zit ever on my cheek.  I tried to pick at it yesterday and now it looks horrible.  

My daughters found pot at their dad’s house over the course of last week.  He and I had a screaming match yesterday which was horrible and stressful and made the kids cry.  He insists it is not his, which want to believe because he is trying to clean his life up.  My problem is that he had people over at his house who HAVE that stuff and that it obviously fell out of a pocket or something.  I understand there are worse things they could have found, however at 7 years old they have no business having contact with pot.  If his stoner friends want to come over they can leave their stash in the car.  He doesn’t think it’s my business but when it involves my daughters I’ll stick my nose in where I darn well please, thank you very much.

OK so since I wrote the part about my landlord, I got a reply from him and he was very nice.  He does prefer that I come out there to give him my check but he wasn’t mean about it.  It is a lot of money to get lost in the mail, so he is right.  I think he is looking out for me as well as looking out for himself.  I think I mis-read his original email; which sucks.  I have a bad habit of reading too much into things.  

Stop the presses – I did something this weekend I thought I’d never do again.  I went to church.  *Record Scratch*   Yes, I said it.  The girls wanted to go with my niece, and I tagged along with Brother and Sis-In-Law.  I do have to say, it was very different than what I am used to.  It was very casual and non preachy (Is that a word?)  The message was “It’s never too late to change” and focused on how we all react negatively and how we all have dark parts to ourselves.  The speaker was very relatable, and I really enjoyed it.  The girls really had a good time in their class.  I will probably go next week… I’m not a Jesus freak or even a good Christian by any means.  I was, however, able to gain some sort of lesson from the sermon (I don’t even like to call it that because it was just so laid back) aside from the standard “Be a better person”.

I’m so tired this morning.  It’s more than a case of the Mondays (Man I dislike that phrase)… I didn’t sleep well last night and didn’t sleep much this weekend.  I will try to get to bed at a reasonable hour tonight… I have to clean my room though.  LOL It’s always something.  

I guess the funk is slowly clearing.  I catch myself drifting back into the crappy mood and I am doing my best to try to turn it around.  I have a lot of things to be happy about, and if I focus on being in a good mood and celebrating the good things in my life rather than constantly returning to the “poor me”, I will be better off.  It’s just hard.  I feel entitled to be in a bad mood once in a while.  And I am.  That being said, I can’t keep returning to that state of mind.  It sucks and isn’t healthy, and really it affects more than just me.  I guess this means I have to cheer to eff up.  Gross.

Shonda, Meet Wall.

Published 7 February, 2009 by itsaheartache

sad20vaderI’m having a bad week.

There, I said it.

You wouldn’t know it by hanging out with me because I’m a really good faker.  (Ask my ex)

I keep this part of me very well hidden.  It’s probably not a good idea. 

I want to know when this will all be over.  I feel so selfish because all I can think about right now is how nice it would be to lock myself into my own room and not have someone knock on the door .5 seconds later. 

I want to be alone.

At times like this I know that would be the worst thing for me, but it’s what I keep migrating to.  I want to shut down.  I want to push them all away.  I want to be alone.

I want to be done trying to save the world.  I don’t want to be the one people look to for answers.  I want to be alone.

The lump in my throat is growing, and has been on a steady course for the past few days.  I felt attacked at work this week, which didn’t help.  I feel overwhelmed financially, which didn’t help.  I’m in self deprecating mode with my weight, which didn’t help.  I just want to be alone.

I miss my friends.  I miss my cats.  I miss the fuzzy blanket I packed away into storage.  I miss my forks (How random and lame is that)

This has to get better, right?  Everyone has bad weeks, right?

Why do I feel so lame and like this is the end of the world?  Last week I was excited about the new beginning, now the same prospect makes me feel like shit – I don’t get it.

I need for everything to be OK.  There is no plan B.  I need for everything to be fixed, and I need for it to be fixed sooner rather than later.

I can usually bring myself out of something like this by thinking of something good.  Right now I cannot find that good.  That’s not to say it isn’t there.  I know it’s there.  For right now I am pity partying.  I guess that’s pretty pathetic, huh?  I’m voluntarily willing myself into a funk. 

It will be over soon, and then I will kick myself for being such a baby.  But for now I think I need this funk.  I think I’m entitled to feel sorry for myself, even if it’s just for a little bit.

This cloud has a silver lining; they all do.  This is not going to kill me. 

I really just want to be alone, though.  For that I feel ungrateful.  My brother and his family have sacrificed their own alone time in favor of helping my family.  How dare I be selfish and act like they haven’t sacrificed.  There isn’t a place in their house we aren’t “allowed” to go.  They have no alone time either.  What if they want to be alone, too?thinking-cat

Alright.  I’m grabbing my hankie and blowing my nose and getting over myself.  Just not yet.  I’m going to do laundry and I’m going to try to make it another hour without snapping at one of the kids.  I’m sure they are stressed out too.  I’m taking them out tomorrow and we will be gone all day.  Maybe that’s what we need…

The next time you hear from me I will have a better attitude, hopefully.  Even if I do need this funk, I can’t let it beat me.