All posts for the month October, 2008

Clean House

Published 30 October, 2008 by itsaheartache

“Cleanliness is next to Godliness” ~ Some tool who doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

What better way to top off an insanely busy day at work than an insanely busy power cleaning binge.

Today at work I received over 80 emails in 9 hours.  That’s an average of about 9 per hour; each needing either a quick response or some sort of digging / fact finding.  To say it was busy is the most hilarious understatement ever.  Our department even had a special lunch celebration today, which I attended long enough to grab a chicken sub and some salt & pepper chips.  Then it was back to my desk where I plugged away on planning and spreadsheets.  I can’t tell you how much it pleases me to be busy.  It’s a good busy, I promise.

So on the way home I picked up the new cable box (Momma’s going digital, hooray); grabbed the kid, and listened to the music much too loudly.

When I got home I came to the harsh realization that a week long funk leads to a week long hiatus in house cleaning.  So I spent the better part of 3 hours picking up, scrubbing counters, cleaning sinks, gathering garbage, and scolding myself for being a slob.  I even swept a SOCK up from under the kitchen table.  The best part about the sock is it belongs to one of the Divas, who went to their dad’s Sunday.  Yes, folks, I have not swept the kitchen in near a week.  I should be ashamed to myself.

I’ll be cleaning my room tonight after the boys go to bed.  Right now I’ve thrown together a late dinner because the younger two boys had rehearsal tonight.

I’m giddy at how clean my kitchen is right now.

Maybe catching up on all the cleaning has helped to remove some of these clouds, because I could swear that I feel a good mood coming on.  Could it be?

Tomorrow is Friday, thankfully.

Tomorrow is Halloween.

Tomorrow we have celebrations all day at work and we get to leave early for a goodbye party for a colleague.

Tomorrow the boys go trick or treating, and I get to raid their candy after they go to bed.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Tomorrow there will be nothing I can change about the things I’ve done or said today.  I have to keep reminding myself this.

Tomorrow there will be only two more weeks until a day I am really dreading.  I only hope it comes and goes smoothly.  I can’t talk about it here, but it is a major source of my stress and worry of late.  I’m hurt betrayed and aghast at what I have to go through again.

Tomorrow I get to wear jeans to work.

Tomorrow is not payday, but oh well.

I love tomorrows.  Hope yours is good too.



If You’re Happy And You Know It…

Published 29 October, 2008 by itsaheartache

This is lame.  Another funk, started off by the stupid notice I got in the mail recently.

No I’m NOT fucking happy, but thanks for caring.

It’s amazing to me how empty people’s daily conversations and exchanges are.  When someone says “Good Morning”, the instinctual response is “Good morning!; Hi; Hey;”… you get my drift.  “How are you?” is in a world of its own.  Does anyone actually pay attention when asked this question or when askING this question?  What if you asked “How are you?” and the intended recipient said “Go to hell, like you care how I am” or “My mom just died, thanks for asking”… But no.  We say “Fine” or we say “You too” or we say “it’s supposed to be so nice today”.  We don’t even pay attention.  Could this be why some of us are so pissed?

I’ll give myself a big negative… I have bigger problems to worry about right now than whether or not the janitor is sincere in his morning greetings.  In fact I’m letting myself get off on a pretty sizable tangent I’d say.  But screw it, this is my blog, and if you don’t like it, click the red X in the top right corner.  See it?  Thanks.

Now for those of you who are still playing along; what the fuck?


What’s it going to take for me to finally be happy?  A magical Coke bottle to fall from the sky so I can fashion some crude tools from it?  A magical giant man to show up on my birthday to let me know that I am really a wizard and all the anger and sadness I feel is totally normal?  An engagement shoe?

No.  None of these.

I mean, sure there are lots of things that MAKE me happy on a daily basis, but I don’t know if I truly am a happy person.  Does that make sense?  I laugh every day.  I laugh a lot.  I smile.  I give compliments. I help co-workers.  I joke around with the kids.  I laugh myself into wheezing fits at the Youtube video of the anchormen who can’t stop laughing at the clip of the model falling down.  I laugh at it every damn time.  But at the end of the day, here I am.  I’ve got a million and five thoughts running through my head.  I’ve got a hundred criticisms for myself.  I’ve got dozens of items in my mental to-do list.  The list keeps getting longer; and I run out of time before I can finish them.


And I’m frustrated over my inability to compose a good post lately.  I have 9 (9!!!) drafts that I have abandoned.  They’ve taken my mojo.  For now.

Until then… enjoy the news anchors and tell me this doesn’t make your damn night.

Information Stuff

Published 18 October, 2008 by itsaheartache

It should come to no surprise that I love filling out Q & A type stuff.  You saw a lot of them on ShondaLand, and you’ll see a lot of them here… I have no clue why I’ll never get tired of saying my favorite colors are purple and brown; but hey we all have our vices, yes?  So if you’re nosey, settle right in and read some stuff.

40-Something Things You Can’t Possibly Know About Me

What is in the back seat of your car right now?
Jen’s wedding dress.  She brought it dress shopping with us the other day to see how it would look next to the bridesmaid / maid of honor dresses and I haven’t given it back to her yet.

Name 3 people who you talked to today?
Shannon, Mark, Aunt TeTe

What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
I was still sleeping; I’m still sick so I’m exhausted all the time!!

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Writing the Comfort Food post and wishing The Pirate a happy birthday.

What is your favorite board game?

Have you ever been to a strip club?
Yes; I’ve seen boy strippers, girl strippers, gay strippers, Canadian strippers…

What is the last thing you yelled aloud?
AH!  (B child came out from behind the counters and scared the crap out of me)

What is the best ice cream flavor?
Right now I’m on a big Cookies & Cream kick.  Yummy!

What are you wearing right now?
M&M’s pajama pants and a T-shirt.  I’m hot sex momma tonight.

What was the last thing you ate?
Pizza and I probably shouldn’t have eaten it b/c now I have a tummy ache.

Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
No not this week.

What’s the last sporting event you watched?
I watched a little big of the Illinois football game tonight (I love the Big Ten channel)

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Right now I’d be happy anywhere as long as I didn’t have this damn sick thing going on.

Who is the last perso
n you sent a message on myspace?
Chandra asking me about the Halloween party – I had to bail on her b/c I just don’t feel up to doing anything tonight!

Ever go camping?
Yes and I want to take the boys next summer; I think they’d enjoy it.

Have you ever lost anyth
ing down a toilet?
I’ve dropped tons of stuff into the toilet but I don’t think I’ve ever flushed anything down it unintentionally.  But to go off on a tangent I LOVE the toilet commercial where the guy sees the hot plumber and he runs upstairs and starts flushing everything – candles, cosmetics, washcloths, dog food… I laugh every damn time.  Please tell me you’ve seen this commercial.

Do you use smiley faces on the computer a lot?
All the time.  It’s rather pathetic actually.

What did your last text message say?
Ralf called me a wuss.  He’s mean.

Are you someone’s best friend?
I hope so!!

What are you doing tomorrow?
I’m cleaning my house and doing laundry.  I hope my poor body holds out!!!

Where is your mom right now?
Up north where she lives.

Look to your left, what do you see?
Alarm clock, back scratcher, Notepad.

What color is your watch?

What do you think of when you think of Australia?
Surfing and great white sharks

Do you have a dog?
No but I have an adopted dog who lives at my brother’s.  Let me explain… Her name is Tess and she loves me when I come over.  We are friends.  She tried to hump me a couple summers ago so I’ve had to scale the relationship back (haha) I love her to death though; she’s such a good dog!!

Last person you talked to on the phone?
My sister Rhonda

Have you met anyone famous?
I met Jay Medicine Hat; he’s a hypnotist comedian.  I’ve also met Roy Clark and Buck Owens back in the day; and a couple of local hockey players.  (Joey MacDonald; he’s actually on the Wings now)

Any plans today?
Today is done, I’m going to work on a little writing and do some crossword puzzles until my medicine tells me to go to bed.

Are you happy?
I’m getting there.  I’ve had a super rough couple of months so hopefully things are heading back to where I need them to be.

Where are you right now?
In my room

Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
Lack of money; just like 99.9% of the general American population… General frustration with the fact that the rich are getting richer at a ridiculous pace with complete disregard to those who they run over in the process.  Our government is screwing us, plain and simple.

ite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
Black Mary Jane heels.

Are you jealous of anyone?
I’m jealous of anyone who can live and let live.  I hold grudges without realizing I do; and for bullshit reasons.  It’s really stupid and I’m sure I’d sleep better at night if I didn’t let so many things bother me.

Is anyone jealous of you?
Meh probably not, but that’s OK.

What time is it?
11:30 at night.

Do any of your friends have children?
Yep, most of them do.

What do you usual
ly do during the day?
I work during the day, then come home and play Super-Mom.

Do you hate anyon
e right now?
I don’t care that much about them to hate them

Do you use the word ‘hello‘ daily?
Yes, I do.

How many kids do you want to have?
Just the ones I have… I also like to borrow my nephews and niece when I can.  My god I love those kids.

How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
32!! Gross!!!

How did you get your scars?
Cesarean; hot pizza pan; bike wreck; tripping over a suitcase; botched IV insertion; roller skating crash.  Gosh I’m clumsy!!!

For The Love Of Comfort Food

Published 18 October, 2008 by itsaheartache

Yes, I’m a big girl.  And yes, I lurve to eat.  Food is nourishment.  It’s discovery.  It’s coming back to the familiar.  It’s wrecking a batch of cookies 8 times until you get it just like Grandma’s… But never getting it like Grandma’s and settling for a gut wrenching bowl of cookie dough.  Oh, is that just me?  I digress.

There’s nothing like good old comfort food.  Food that gives you a sense of warmth when you are feeling sick or sad or lonely.  You can tell I’m an emotional eater, yes?  Why, even as I type, my tummy is full of delicious dinner – Salisbury steak and rice.  *Drool*  Coming down from a godawful congestion, I wasn’t able to taste it too much, but dinnertime was fun.

So let’s get down to it… Comment and tell me some of your favorites and why.

Do you like Meat Loaf?

No.  Not THAT Meatloaf. And might I preface the better meatloaf by saying “What the HELL?!?!?!”  People though this guy was SEXY???  I mean, really.  Boogely eyes, a feathered mullet and baseball innuendos be damned.  Gross.  Let’s send a memo to the 70’s and find out why this guy was so hot.

Meatloaf.  This kind:

Now that’s more like it.  Ground meat, eggs, bread crumbs, and ketchup.  I want to drool like Homer Simpson over a good meatloaf.  What’s best about meatloaf is that you don’t have to necessarily use it in a loaf form… you can make balls from it and simmer in mushroom soup and serve over rice.  OMG that is so good.  Or you can slice it as leftovers and eat it on sandwiches with mustard.  Mm.

Onto the next course… What would Sunday morning breakfast be without donuts?  What’s that?  You eat pancakes at your house?  Well piss off, I’m not talking to you anyways.  Hmph.  You and your fancy cooking all on a Sunday morning and stuff.  Gosh.  Didn’t you know pancakes are supposed to be for Saturday mornings?  Don’t forget the 2 spoons of peanut butter into your pancake batter.  Peanut butter pancakes.  Trust me, you’ll love.  But we aren’t talking of pancakes… Donuts.

Ooh look at them.  Come to momma.  Let’s touch real quick on the nasty one up there in the middle with nuts on it.  Donuts are no place for real nuts.  Let me be honest.  Peanuts really ruin the donut experience; as does the horrible butterscotch/caramel/maple wanna be tan frosting that some bakeries will put on the donuts.  Barf-a-rama.  Leave well enough alone and don’t mess with a good thing.  Glazed; still warm; yes.  Sour cream, yes.  Long Johns, yes.  Now see what I just did?  I might have to run out tomorrow morning to get some donuts.  Better yet I could always make my own home-made ones.  Oh yes, I’m that good.  Come over, I’ll make you some too.

Nothing says “I just got dumped so lay it on me” like a big fat piece of chocolate cake.  Rawr. Chocolate seems to be the go-to life preserver for women especially.  I can’t explain it; there is something soothing and pacifying about chocolate.  The sugar free nonsense just won’t do, either.  Plus it (sugar free kind) gives you diarhea!! Why even bother with an imposter… Go for the real stuff.

Aye chihuahua.  Look at the chocolate shaving; you could  use them for prison shanks.

And speaking of shanks and cake… I must wish a very happy birthday to my favorite Pirate.  30-something today, gorgeous, funny, and cuter than I can ever hope to be.  I love you girl.  Your presents are on their way.

I’m outtie… still sicker than a dog so I’m drifting away in my TheraFlu coma.  Until next time… Go eat something; and tell me all about it!!!


Published 14 October, 2008 by itsaheartache

Oh my gosh I hate being sick.  This cough came on fast!  Yesterday I was fine; hyper even.  Last night before bed I got a tickle in my throat so I took some medicine.  This morning I have wheezy sounding breathing and my throat is killing me.

I made the drive into work anyways, and stayed for 1 hour.  It’s odd working for a place who is supportive of their employees taking time off if they need it. They told me “Go home!! Feel better!!”  And they meant it!

Scratch that… It’s nice working for a place who is supportive – Period.

Last night two of the boys and I helped my friends D & J clean their house; they are selling and it’s being shown today.  It was fun hanging out there; the boys really did a great job outside.  The sad and hilarious part is that when I drove by this morning, all the leaves they had swept up had blown right back where they were b/c of the windy weather we had early this a.m.  Damn leaves.

I have so much to do around my own house but have become strangely unmotivated.  I’m not doing anything today because I feel like garbage, but I have a huge list amassed of little projects to get done.  My baseboards are screaming at me; because I have cats there is a small track of cat hair right in the corner where the baseboard meets the floor and the vacuum can’t get to.  So probably tomorrow night I will crawl around on my hands & knees and pick up cat hair.  Sounds fun, eh?

I picked out my Halloween costume.  It’s a make-your-own Halloween ensemble… I’m going as the lady from The Birds.  I bought the birds Saturday while I was out shopping with the girls; and this week I’ll go to Goodwill to find a suit if Elle doesn’t have one in the prop closet that will fit me.

I have about 6 months to find a date for Jen’s wedding.  Her fiance does have a really cute friend who is single, so maybe I will ask them to set us up or something.  He seems super nice; we’ve hung out socially a couple of times.  We’ll see though.  I want to lose some weight before the wedding, that’s for damn sure.

You should have seen it when we went for dress fitting.  Here I am getting sized for a big size (I won’t tell you because it’s embarassing) and in the same wing of the bridal shop is “Skeletor Bridezilla” who has to be clamped into a size FOUR.  Four is the smallest size they had on site; but get this.  I overheard her tell the fitting lady she wears a double Zero.  As in James Bond minus the 7.  What the hell is wrong with people?  Her vertebrae were jutting out of her back all the way up her neck and into her freaking hairline.  I wanted to feed her; she looked like a refugee.

And I know that everyone has their own hangups… maybe Skinny Mini thinks her toes are ugly or something.  But she was so thin.  So scary thin.

So yeah.  I want to go on a diet (again).  And not because of Skeletor.  I’m healthy; my blood pressure is good; my cholesterol is low; I don’t get winded during physical activity (too badly)… And I’m proportioned well.  But it’s just that I look different than I feel.  Does that make sense?  Maybe I have overdosed on Robitussin…

I’m sleeping in this weekend.  This is my present to myself.  Speaking of sleep; I’m going to bed.  Kisses.