*Chirp Chirp*

Published 23 September, 2008 by itsaheartache

Ah, I love nights like tonight.  The air is cool and crisp, and the crickets are chirping outside.  A couple of moths have made their way inside, when I was saying bye to my friend Jen, and they are keeping my cats occupied.

Today was a stressful day, but I have persevered and am sitting in my quiet room, all alone.  Loneliness is hard for me.  Hard, but something I can deal with.

It’s hard to get back in the groove of this writing thing.  I’m so nervous of the wrong people stumbling upon my blog again.  I spent 3 years pouring my soul into a project that I had hoped would prepare me for a life as a semi-known author.  I had to delete my old blog.  I was crushed.  But I can start over.  I was good at what I did.  I can be good again.  Now, more cautious.

I shouldn’t be so cautious.  After all, it’s just words, no?  Well words can hurt sometimes; and words can destroy relationships when used the right (wrong) way.

Tonight, I dwell.  It’s a good dwell, though, so don’t be worried.  I am happy tonight.  I feel at peace.  I feel ready to take on the challenge of a new chapter in my life.  How exciting!!  As I learned in Dale Carnegie, “What An Opportunity!”

When Jen comes over she talks about work, and part of me wants to offer suggestions and ask questions to make sure things are going as I had them set up to function.  But the other part of me says “Fuck it”  And that part is right.  It’s no longer my problem.  What a great thing!!  There was a point when I was working more than 60 hours a week, including random calls at midnight, 1:00 in the morning.  I’m delighted that I no longer have to do that.  Not in a selfish way, but in an honest to God “Yay” way.

I’m listening to Eric Carmen “Make Me Lose Control” right now and it makes me giggle… My mom used to sing her head off to this song when I was a kid.

Oh and speaking of my mom; she is coming down for my birthday next weekend!!!! I’m excited to see her, and happy that she is making the trip this time as it gives her a chance to get a break from my sister and my sister’s kids.  We are having a girly dinner/drinks/karaoke date for my birthday.  I’m so happy to be able to spend time with my special friends and my mom.  I hope everyone can come.  Not that I’m a spoiled brat and will be pissed if someone can’t come… After all we’re grownups and have lives and shit.  LOL  I’m just looking forward to seeing everyone and having a good time.

Still no word back on the two-department job opportunity.  I have been waiting a week, and have been reassured that I am in the top running and have nothing to worry about.  Just in case, I sent some resumes today.  I don’t want to be caught with my pants down.  Can you believe it’s been almost two months already?

Tomorrow is my youngest son’s birthday.  He’s going to be 11… How sad.  I remember when he was a screaming baby.  Now he’s a mouthy pre-teen.  I’m going to bake a cake for him while he’s at school and surprise him.  I was going to surprise him with dinner but the light company had to come first today.  What a bummer, eh?  He is so humble, though, he will be very happy with the cake.

Tomorrow is also my day to call the 1-800-I have no job phone number… LOL  Just another reminder of my time off.  I’m going to start exercising.  I figure I have so much time here during the day, there is no reason for me to sit on my ass and keep feeling sorry for myself.  I have read in a bunch of different publications that exercise is supposed to improve mood.

So who knows? Maybe I’ll start exercising, feel great, and lose a shitload of weight in the process.  Take that, Old Employer.  Hmph.


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