Do You Have A Square To Spare?

Published 7 September, 2008 by itsaheartache

“My girl likes to potty all the time, potty all the time, potty all the tiiiime” ~Variation of 80’s Eddie Murphy song

Being a fan of travel near and far, I’ve seen my fair share of bathrooms.  Rest stops, hotels, planes, and gas stations alike… I’ve been there, done that.

The funniest (OK, maybe not so funny as it is gross) part about bathrooms is how many people are comfortable with the #2.  I personally have to be faced with a major gastrointestinal emergency to commit to the #2 away from home.  Yuck.

Let’s talk about the plane bathroom.  Would it kill Boeing to design a plane with a bathroom larger than an oyster cracker?  Seriously.  And then, the cherry on the sundae – A changing table!!! In the plane bathroom in which a normal person can’t even turn comfortably!!  I can’t for the life of me imagine, logistically, how a mom + baby + diaper bag can fit in that teeny bathroom; let alone have room to fold down the damn changing table.  It’s madness!!! Boeing, please grow the potties!

Does anyone else suffer from Medicine Cabinet Curiosity?  Medicine cabinets are like Pandora’s Box to me, I tell you.  When I’m expecting company, I’ll even turn my medicine bottles around so people have to put some serious effort into reading my business.  It doesn’t make me feel any better about snoopers, but false vindication never hurt anyone.  And honestly, if it makes them feel better to eyeball my Midol, more power to them.

A bad bathroom experience can ruin your day, even an entire trip.  Case in point – Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT eat at the Mirage Las Vegas buffet.  During a trip to the fabulous Las Vegas a couple of years ago, breakfast was consumed at this oversized Ex-Lax substitute.  Long story short, my friend and travel companion spent the day on the Las Vegas strip ducking in and out of casino bathrooms with the sharts.  Poor girl.

Porta-Potties.  Ugh.  Only in case of emergency.  I’d rather wee in the bushes.

And what about bar bathrooms?  Have you ever seen anything so disgusting?  Aside from porta-potties, of course.

Just remember, kids, no potty in the pool.  You’ve seen Caddyshack, right?

This public service announcement brought to you by the numbers 1 and 2.  You may return to your normal programming.

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